does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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