plz talk dirty to me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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