Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
