ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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