dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
