If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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