you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
