Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
