Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
