i barfeds in our rink
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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