my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I haven't been this sober since birth.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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