You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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