i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
