Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
