He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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