my soul wont recognize me after tonight
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I have post one night stand depression
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