I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize