He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
