Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
