so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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