only if we run a train.
done.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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