he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
