are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
