Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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