i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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