Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
