I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize