Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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