hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
