And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
