She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
