so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
