i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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