is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
