Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
