I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We don't watch enough power rangers
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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