I'm eating all of the evidence.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
