Apparently you make a good broom.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
