i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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