I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Duck Duck Cougar?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
