my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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