so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize