Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
