she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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