apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize