i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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