I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize