We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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