New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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