Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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