I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize