____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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