i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize