I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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