so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
