have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
