Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
